Diary of a one year old – 15 months

In two days time the baby will be 15 months old. Only we can’t call her a baby anymore. I think the correct term is ‘person’. She is a mini human being, with a personality so developed, I realise it’s been coming out in splodges the whole time we’ve known her.

She looks at us with her eyes shining as if to say – I KNOW what is going on in the world. I may be small. But nothing is going to stop me. And nothing does.

Her passion is climbing. She’s been walking a few months now so she’s very agile at this stage and steady. She has the strength of a gymnast and she will grab on to things and swing backwards and forwards like a little hairless monkey. Try to prise her from whatever she’s climbing on (baby changer, door, wall) and you’re more likely to have the object come away towards you than the child.

Her hair is crazy long. It’s almost reaching her nose at the front and we use an assortment of clips, slides, hats and lately pigtails and ponytails to take it out of her eyes. She doesn’t seem to mind though and will peer at you, blue eyes peeping through her wheaten hair.

She’s very into cartoons now. This is no doubt our fault, but we find it calms her down. It’s something to do. We snuggle up under a blanket – doddy sometimes permitted and watch Ben and Holly, Paw Patrol or Peppa Pig.

Pegga Pig. SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT! This is her favourite thing to do. At first it was a joke – she’d give a little oink when we’d say ‘where’s Peppa Pig?’ It was her party trick and because she can’t speak yet, we gladly made her perform to family, because it was the only learned thing she could do. Now, she’s gone beyond the oinks to massive back of the head phlegm attacks and they almost shake the house. You don’t even have to say ‘where’s Peppa Pig?’ anymore, she just randomly snorts at all times of the day for our amusement. And we do laugh.

I’ve taught her the word ‘shoe’. This is because it was my first word and naturally I want my own spawn to be just like me. She kind of says it, but it’s random. I’m looking forward to her speech developing, because it will be very cute and we can communicate better with her. She has already learned to speak on the phone though. We videoed her recently talking on a remote control saying, ‘yeah…. yeah… yeah…’ just like you do when you’re on the phone. Remote controls have long been pseudo mobiles in this house.

I’ve noticed tantrums and huffs creeping in. She’s learning that if she doesn’t get her own way if she cries or gets a bit aggressive Mammy or Daddy will likely step in and resolve all manner of problems. Like not being able to get some thing out of a box. Or her leg getting stuck. Or getting back the iPhone she was playing on. She loves Apple. And not the fruit kind.

We are looking forward to Christmas. We haven’t decided what to do about a tree yet – we fear she will either climb to the top of it, or eat the baubles but we do need somewhere to put her presents under.

What I’m enjoying most about her at this stage is her innocence and mobility. Although she’s starting to show signs of tantrums and forcing her own way, it’s very mild. Most of the time she goes along, happy with her lot, eating what we give her and watching her cartoons. I know that soon she will put more and more together and completely manipulate us. We went to the beach today, her wrapped up in hats and hoods and zig zagging all over the beach in every direction. We walked in a star, not in a straight line because that is how she sees the world.

I have calmed down a lot. I’m more relaxed. I feel like I have a beautiful, intelligent daughter, who is fun to be around and who brings me the most joy and love I have ever experienced. I miss her when I’m away from her, and I love nothing more to coming home to the house after work, fire lit, hubby with the dinner on and the child running away from my hugs and refusing to look at me because she hasn’t seen me all day. She gets offended like that.

Here is a list of her past month’s activities. Let’s see what the next month will bring.

• Left her playing with her toys on the floor in the sitting room – Judge Judy on TV. Came back within three minutes to find her kicked back on the sofa, legs up, remote in hand and Paw Patrol on. She looked round and her eyes said: ‘whassup?’
• Yanked one of her play date’s hair so hard she pulled the little girl down flat on the ground. Like a wrestler might. And didn’t even look guilty about it.
• Hide and seek with the curtains. Can be left in a room, only her tiny toes visible on the floor and waits for you to surprise her. No time limit, she’s pretty patient.
• Stuck her hands down the loo, delved into the toilet water sludge. As I tried to run her hands under the tap, she grabbed every single toothbrush in the holder with sludgy hand. Gag.
• Drooled a lot. One day she smiled and there was a brand new tooth, fully formed and in line with the rest of her teeth. It seemed to pop up over night. Bonjela is back.
• Has nails longer than your one Sandra off Gogglebox. REFUSES to let anyone touch them to cut them. She will kickbox you in the face. Am considering anaesthetic to get them done – I’m genuinely worried about this one.
• Played the guitar with her teeth. Because she channels Jimi Hendrix. That’s my girl.

December Girl is now available on Audio. Visit Amazon or Audible or click on the cover below to download.