The baby is crazy. She’s gone from a wriggly blob to a shuffly blob to a small girl child who can climb and run and use her hands like an adult might. I can’t understand how she went from being a baby to a toddler. It seemed to have happened over night. And while I’m glad she’s developing, I’m also really worried. She’s one. Not two. The terrible twos have to happen yet. So what the hell is this phase? The wonky ones? The not-so-ONE-derfuls?
Here is a short list of some of the things she has done this week. There are more, but I can’t remember most of them, because you know, baby brain.
- Used my head as a ledge to climb INTO her cot. From the ground. The cot is about four and a half foot high. If she can climb in, I’m sure she can climb out. What the fluff happens then?
- Climbed onto the lid of the toilet and then onto the cistern! Himself caught her just before she hit the ground. Which like most bathrooms is tiled. Tiny heads and tiles just don’t go together, as far as I know.
- Put her hand into the dog’s bowl, every time we feed her. The poor dog tries to gobble up her food while the baby, pretends her hand is a food mixer.
- Take said dog bowl from the dog and fling it at her Daddy as he dashes to take it off her. This was a fling like you might toss a pancake. An aimed throw. Into his face.
- Used her teeth as a fifth limb to climb up my standing body. At points she was hanging on by just her teeth – her eyes saying – look Mammy, no hands! It was quite impressive actually. And she only has four teeth on top.
- Taken her shoe, and flung it like a shot put at her bedroom window.
- Taken two cousins and beat them up separately. No mean feat for a girl who is a foot high. They were petrified and have ruled out all future visits to our house. Are we raising a bully? Is she setting out her stall as a tyrant?
There are upsides of course. She is sleeping way better. She does waken but we can cope and there are rare nights when she sleeps the whole way through. This sleep is needed by both Mammy and Daddy because we have never felt exhaustion like a day spent at home with speedy Gonzales who can now run faster than us and has tiny whirring hands that can plunge down a toilet faster than you can say, DON’T!
‘Don’t’ is our new favourite word. I think I say it about 17,000 times a day. She is starting to learn the meaning of the word, but because she is only one, we can’t really teach her right from wrong. She’s too little.
Words are not really happening right now. But she does snort through her nose when we say ‘where’s Peppa Pig?’ and if she doesn’t we all encourage her by oinking loudly. I’ve noticed that when visitors arrive I start demanding of her to produce the one thing she does on cue because, well, I’m proud of her. And I have no problems raising a performing monkey. Or pig.
I feel a great sense of relief that we’ve gotten through the first year. That we’ve moved on from the baby phase. That she can sit and play with her toys, that it’s ok to dash out to the clothesline. Sometimes I even pee in peace.
She is now more cuddly and clings on for hugs sometimes. I’m trying to teach her to dance because I want her to enjoy music. To be free to throw her body round. Our favourite song is a cover of Just Can’t Get Enough by Wallis Bird.
She holds on tight and I jump up and down and dance with her. And then she demands to be put on the ground and she does a Mr Bean impression before standing to stare at me. Because I’m still dancing. On my own. In our kitchen, in the middle of the day. And then I realise it’s not just baby who’s crazy. It’s Mammy too. And this is what parenting has done to me.
Such a cute post! Our one year old (just turned one this month) is quite the opposite. She is all chat – some are actual English words, other sound a little like Chinese. But she is very cautious about walking – much to the dismay of her competitive Daddy! Standing holding on (tight) to something or someone is really as far as she will venture at this stage. So we had a toddler (in attitude) who doesn’t toddle!
Haha! Really – she has the words? Sometimes I wonder if our baby doesn’t talk much yet, because she’s not really around other children. But she is flying walking, she climbed down the stairs by herself today. I’m trying to teach her because sometimes she ends up there anyway and I’m terrified she’ll fall! Love that Daddy is competitive, they usually are!
LOLLLLL! She sounds like an adventurous one! Love the part about her using her teeth to climb! Too funny!
Yeah, she’s talented alright!
cute post! My 18 month old daughter is starting to say more and more but is showing understanding of what I am talking about. She hasn’t figured out how to get out of the cot yet but I’m dreading the day she does! #thelist
I don’t know what we will do when that happens. My mother strapped my brother into his cot when he was small. Not sure if you’d get away with that in 2015!
Well done on getting through the first year intact! Baby is crazy too, absolutely bonkers. Love this post so funny x
Thanks a mil. Quite proud we are through the first year. Pats on the puke spattered backs all round!
What a great little face! It sounds like you are having lots of fun. I personally found 1.5 much more challenging than 2.5. I think it depends on children’s personality but at 1.5 they were both really mobile and stubborn but there was no reasoning (or bribing them) at all! At least at 2.5 there was a sometimes chance of being able to reason with them. That being said I think toddlerhood is really fun too!
That’s exactly how I feel! She’s so young, you can’t possibly reason with her or tell her what’s right or what’s wrong. She just jumps in anyway. I think she’ll be behaving herself by two. *prays*
Ha ha this made me laugh out loud. I can remember the walking aka running it seemed to come from no where and all of a sudden it was a completely different ball game! Love the dance lessons 🙂 great idea. I found a book called the wonder weeks when Monkey was 18 months and it helped me make sense of a lot of things and I wished I had found it sooner xx
Do you know my friend gave me that as a newborn gift and I used it a lot in the early days. I havent really looked at it now that we’re past a year though. I found it kind of hard looking at the next episode winging its way down the track – especially if we were just after getting settled – it was like saying – two minutes peace and then two more weeks of crap – coming your way! But might be worth looking at now again, now that she’s older. Thanks for the comment.
14 months old is such a lovely age! She sounds very adventurous & busy which is just as she should be. It really is amazing how much they accomplish & develop over the first year! x
Hahahaha BRILLIANT. She sounds just like Frankie only I’m ahead of you and I know whats to come 😛
Aggggh don’t say that!! You’re freaking me out!
Oh bless her – time flies by doesn’t it? It is a bit if a relief to ‘do’ year 1! Wait until the full blown terrible twos! Kaz x
Agh don’t say that. Can’t cope!
I wish I had of updated my blog with monthly posts of little J. Its such a lovely reminder of all the things they do
I know because you so easily forget. I didn’t do monthly posts – just kind of when I feel like writing them, but know they’ll be something lovely to look back on 🙂
Haha, my little one is 14 months too, and into all the exact same things! Just trying to keep him away from the toilet bowl is a feat in itself, and I’m glad I’m not the only one with a child who throws things!
What about throwing things DOWN the toilet. That’s her new talent.
Love it! All so true!!!!
You said it! And wrote it 😉