Come into my caravan: a trip to the fortune teller

Gypsy and crystal ball

Come into my caravan, she beckoned. She fixed her dark eyes on me, looked into my soul and made me come forward. My fate was in her hands. Within the next few moments, all would be revealed. What would the future hold? Well for a fiver, I could find out.

Actually she didn’t beckon me into her caravan. In fact, when I walked by, she was texting on her mobile phone. But I loved the tiny caravan she was sitting in. It was a human sized replica of the Sylvanian Famillies toy I had when I was seven. It was painted green and red and two signs read that she was a true gypsy fortune teller, gifted by her Welsh grandmother and kids cost £2.50 and adults £5.

We made our way up the ladder steps, unsure of how to announce ourselves. ‘Two of us’, I said, as if asking for a table in a restaurant. She waved us to sit down and I sat, trying to force my bottom into a small crate with a cushion in it. There was no table. A tiny stove, alive with flames, flickered at our feet. ‘It’s very cosy,’ we commented, as she threw more sticks into it. She had no interest in small talk.

‘Do you want the half reading or a full reading. Full reading is £10.’ What?! The sign said £5. I was being ripped off already. Before I could negotiate she ordered me to hold out my left hand. And then she was off, a mad glint in her eye.

‘You’re stubborn. You’re a nag. You have to watch that because you can be too much of a nag. You’re possessive. And you don’t mind me saying so. There are two men in your life who love you. There’s a man who broke your heart, but he wasn’t the right one for you. One of them wouldn’t change a thing about you. He’s your soul mate. There are no more marriages for you. You’ll have a ring on your finger at 37. Have you one child or two?’

I looked at her, aghast. I was still thinking about the fiver versus tenner reading and here she was listing my faults and talking about my soul mate. Emm, I replied, trying to explain that I have a baby, but my husband also has a daughter. Confirmed, she continued.

‘You’ll have a son within two years. He’ll make you proud. You’ll have a career change in March. You’ll keep your hair long, because it suits you and you don’t mind me saying so. You don’t need alcohol to have a good time.’ She paused and repeated herself. ‘You don’t need alcohol to have a good time’. Shit, I thought. We were sitting so close she must be able to smell last night through my pores.

“There’s a silver car coming your way. There are two people close to you who have died. One was their time to go, they were old; the other was young. You will live to be old. You’re good with pen and paper and computers. Is there a question you’d like to ask me?’

I still had my left hand, hung half way in the air. She had filled me with my whole future in the space of a minute and half. She had stared at me for most of it, once or twice flicking her eyes to my hand -looking for a life line I expect. I was unnerved.

I didn’t really have a question to ask her. Do you see music in my future, I asked her. I thought this was a pretty safe question, as I didn’t want to know any bad news. You won’t be famous, like she want, she said smiling at me. I don’t want to be famous, I said. She seemed to think I did. And that was it. That was my reading.

She wasted no time in moving onto my friend perched beside me. Another list of predictions, delivered as predetermined fact. Love life troubles, health predictions, money, career, wealth. For each claim she got right, I exclaimed and gently whacked my friend on the arm – confirmation that the fortune teller was right!

Soon the second reading was over too. We were ready to go on our way, our fate laid out before us. We crossed her palm with paper and made our way out of the cosy caravan. Wow, we thought. That was great. She got so many things right. Did you hear what she said?

We walked along the quays of Newcastle, past the market stalls, excitedly listing all the information she had disclosed to us. We repeated her predictions, casting them into our minds, so that when they did happen we could look back and say: this was in the stars!

I started thinking back on what she had told us. I realised she had asked us to hold out our left hands – immediately giving away a lot. I had an engagement and wedding ring on, my friend did not, hence my predicted ‘one’ marriage and a more interesting love life for my sidekick. My friend was wearing an expensive watch; the fortune teller told her she liked to spend money. She said I had lost two people close to me, one young, one old. Sure who can’t relate to this scenario by the time they are 31?

Still, understanding that we couldn’t possibly take what she had told us too seriously, it was too much fun not to have given it a go. I rang the husband straight away to let him know there was a son on the way, and bloody hell, the fortune teller said exactly what he tells me all the time – I’m a nag! And as we made our way back to the hotel, I double checked the road as we crossed it. She’d predicted a silver car coming my way. And I wasn’t taking any chances.

35 Comments on Come into my caravan: a trip to the fortune teller

  1. I’ve never gone to have my fortune told! I’ve always thought it was just a waste of money, and I’d spend the time telling her why she thought a certain thing about me. But at least you guys did have fun! x

    • Oh it was so much fun! We didn’t take her seriously but she sound like she knew what she was talking about. I must have ‘nag’ written all over my face!

    • Are you serious? ooo i think i’d be a bit scared of that. my friend also went to one and had an amazing experience, was told stuff on the dead relative would know. it’s scary… so maybe there is something in it all afterall?? *twilight music*

  2. If you had it done in Newcastle I bet I know exactly which one lol, I was also duped by the five pound sign a few years ago. Myself and my friend got are fortune told in the little wooden carriage which was filled with puppys for sale at the time. Although I can not remember half of what she said as we had been out for a drunken lunch when we visited. I do remember she said I would meet someone soon and have two children close in age which I strangely did and my friend was told she would move away which she did xx

    • No way! It was def the same one I think – think she said she was a welsh gypsy? I swear she could def smell the booze of us too, we were in a bad way – my first time out really since I’d had the baby! Will def have to see if it all comes through now, because honestly, some of what she did say, did 🙂

  3. I am quite skeptical about fortune tellers but I would do it for a laugh that is for sure.She seemed to get quite a few predictions right but they were quite generic. If you go to one next time ask them some arbitrary questions and see if they are able to answer it.

    • Definitely, good to test! It was def for a laugh. Usually the serious ones charge quite a lot, so we weren’t expecting much, but we felt like we did get value for money!

  4. I have never had my fortune told. I love how you wrote this post, I read the whole thing very intrigued by every word you said. I really like how you write. It is difficult isn’t it to tell whether they are really ‘fortune tellers’ but hey at least you had a bit of fun like you said. x

    • Thanks for your kind words 🙂 appreciate it. yes you’re right, it isn’t hard to tell, but it is nice to imagine that there is a plan for us isn’t it?! we had great fun anyway, and still time to see if what she predicted works out. sure I’ll keep yis posted!

  5. I have gone to many “fortune tellers” over the years but over here they call themselves card readers. Really enjoyed your post!x I don’t know whether they really can tell the future but more than once the same lady I went to was right so I was a bit spooked!x Loved your writingxx Will be back to read more postsxx

  6. Hahaha this post was so funny and amazing at the same time! I’m not a huge believer in fortune tellers but usually I go to them when the Medieval Journey comes to Portugal. They never get it right but it’s always funny to see how they roll XD

  7. Lol, interesting read. I’d have been looking out crossing the road too. I think I’d be too spooked going to a fortune teller even if they were just reading what they could see from me.

  8. Haha, what an experience! I love going to psychics, not really ‘fortune tellers’, although I did go to one named Gypsy Rose Lee as a tween who had a caravan… outside her big house! 🙂

    • I know. I’d hate to be told anything bad! But u forgot what they’ve said and it’s only randomly it pops back into your brain. Or when u get a chance to reread your blog posts!

    • i think you should go and take everything with a pinch of salt. i wouldn’t go out of my way to go. Just if you happen to pass a gypsy fortune teller on the side of the road. Perfect opportunity!

    • They definitely have a skull I think! Haha. Yes, that was the left hand theory, you can read so much from people just by looking at them.

  9. Ah this was a great read! I believe in divination and practise it myself, and have been to see mediums with really interesting outcomes but I’ve never once been to what you’d call a fortune teller in one of these caravans…I`ve seen them at the fair but never tried it. It does sound fun! xx

  10. For me I decided to check out a fortune teller when I was in Blackpool last October..The things she told me was that apparently I know someone family related overseas that I’ll be moving to work in and it was something that I’ve always wanted to do? As well as a lady friend will come in to my life and I will have a hospital visit soon in regards of my ankle fracture and all problems would go away. This is now March and none of the things has happened yet!..lol

    • Maybe I’m your family member!? Sometimes you have to allow time for these things to happen. I have to wait and see a few years! It’s a bit of fun anyway and a bit of craic. Though I wouldn’t be putting too much faith in it 🙂

    • Do you know I did change career in Feb the following year (not March) and I’m due a baby in 3 months so if it’s a boy, then she was right! Also she said I was good with pen and paper and I’ve since written a book so I’d like to say she got that right too!

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